Men Only.
Last night I was invited to go to a poker game tonight. I mentioned that I had heard of other poker games, but had not been invited because I am female. This did not bother me because I did not know these people that well. I tend not to argue with people I don't know. Anyway, it turns out that I was accidently invited to the all boy poker night and was subsequently uninvited when my gender was made known. As my friend (who is male) did go, I feel that I should comment on the situation. Why would women be prohibited from attending a poker game? Why do they not want us present? These are not rhetorical questions, I would like to hear some ideas and I will respond to those ideas accordingly. I don't want to hear, "Well, 'cause they're guys and sometimes guys just want to hang out with guys." I understand this, but why do guys just want to hang out with guys? What do females do or lack that makes them unappealing poker players? And if it's just "sometimes" why would they insist on the exclusion several weeks in a row?
posted by Jesi E. at 3/19/2005 08:44:00 PM
5 Comments:
As a sometimes partaker of 'men only' poker, I can offer these thoughts:
* Guys don't like losing to girls.
* Girls can be distracting in ways guys don't fully understand.
* Just cuz.
Now realize, this poker game has allowed girls in the past, & will allow girls in the future.
No deep thoughts, just thoughts
I will buy the girls are distracting in ways men don't fully understand, but they don't like losing to girls? Maybe they don't like losing in front of girls. And I forbade the "Just cuz" argument. I argued that one with my uncle last night and it got us absolutely no where. I talked with Nick about this today and he said that the dynamics were just different when it was all men. The word "dynamics" makes sense to me. I will invite certain friends to certain parties because I know that mixture of friends works well together. There have been times where I knew a male would only make the situation awkward. It does give me great pleasure to know that there is a possibility of things changing. I enjoy poker a great deal.
I think, as guys, we like to have "man nights" sometimes not to exclude women, but because we are so rediculously immature and crass at these functions that we would feel bad in the presence of ladies. So, if women came, we would act like decent, upstanding human beings, which would wholly defeat the purpose of "man night."
What would happen if a heterosexual male attended a typical "girl's night?" Would they keep the conversation on specific subjects to make the man feel less uncomfortable? Would it ruin the mood to have a man (who doesn't understand everything girl-like) sitting there with nothing to add?
I have rarely participated in all girl activities. The few that I have been involved in were normally pretty fun, though I thought the addition of some of my other male friends would serve to increase the merriment. If I were to believe any of my male friends wanted to come, I would petition the all female group for inclusion. But if they still insisted on division of the sexes, I would do one of two things:
1) Not attend.
2) Promptly initiate an activity where everyone is invited.
It is hard to argue the all girls night because normally men do not want to attend and it is not nearly as enjoyable to have an all female night.
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