5.04.2005

Who Said This Was Okay?

Another morning under 50 degrees. It is May. This is Oklahoma. There is something seriously wrong. I really despise cold weather, but I specifically abhor it when it comes in times where it does not belong. I'm a rather level-headed person, but if it snowed in Florida in July, I might murder someone with no reason. Oklahoma is pushing it's luck. It's pushing me to more minor offenses, like snarling at strangers. I have been suffering from sickness that I believe was exacerbated by the weather than can't seem to decide what season it is. In some ways it is a blessing, because I've been too busy thinking about how I sound like an 85 year old man when I cough rather than who should die for this horrid weather. The cough, though, is fading.

If you find out who agreed to this weather indecision, please have them quartered and drawn. They are really encouraging unnatural behavior in respectable Oklahomans. All we want is to leisurely bitch about how hot it is, but ultimately we know it is our own fault for living here. If we wanted cold, we'd move north. Anger cannot arise, because we control our location on the map. But this cold? This is truly unjust.

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I do believe that the proper term is "drawn & quartered". The act of being drawn was to have your innards become outtards and then have then burnt in front of you. To quarter someone was, in some cases, to merely cut off their head and divide the body into four pieces. Other theories are that the person would be tied to four horses, each pulling in an opposite direction.

These horses would be whipped constantly until a signal was given & four swordsmen would all lop off an extremity of the victim, leaving a limbless torso on the ground. The head would then be severed.

So you COULD be quartered and drawn. You could also be given a place to live and have someone etch a portrait of you (that would be the same thing, but much more pleasant)

10:37 AM  
Blogger Jesi E. said...

Thank you! I wanted to say that, but I wasn't sure and unfortunately the dictionary doesn't have compound statements like that in it.

10:48 AM  

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