One Day I'll Get Raped by a Tree.
*Right now I'm sipping my coffee (that my mother bought me for my birthday) that was ground fresh this morning with the coffee grinder (she also bought for my birthday) and all I can say is, "Who wants alcohol for their 21st when they can have fresh ground coffee?"*
My friends have frequently expressed concern about my lack of fear about being broken into, raped, and possibly murdered. Several months ago, Sarah and Cassidy walked right into my apartment and stood behind me as I was bent over drying my hair upside down. I saw them out of the corner of my eye and thought it was my brother and so I didn't respond at all. When I finally flipped my head upright, I saw it was them and was taken aback. They laughed at me, but at the same time they were like, "If we were some freak trying to rape you, you know you'd totally be getting raped right now." Since this day, there has been more evidence that the safety procedures in my apartment are not up to par.
First, I'm sort of weirded out when people knock on my door. We normally leave the apartment unlocked when we are at home and our friends just walk in. My parents came over a couple of times this week, and each time Nick and I looked at the door slightly puzzled when we heard knocking sounds. I think we're the only children in the world disconcerted by the fact that our parents knock on our doors.
Finally, I iron my clothes for work everyday at my sliding glass door in my living room overlooking the little open space next to my apartment. It's a lovely spot and it makes me happy. Just this last Thursday, I was looking out my window when I noticed the leaves that were hanging close to my balcony had writing on them. One said, "Jesi I'm watching U!" and another "Jesi I'm watching you." I was terribly amused and spent the day investigating who had done this. (Not that it took much effort to know who likes writing on things with Sharpies.) After confirming the offender, I wrote him that I was concerned that my powers of observation were weak. I mean, seriously, this tree was stalking me for a week outside the window I look out of everyday and I never noticed. What will I do when another tree starts stalking me more discreetly? I'll never notice! Then it'll walk right through my door while I'm drying my hair upside down and then I'll be screwed. ::sighs:: I definitely need to step up protective measures a notch.
My friends have frequently expressed concern about my lack of fear about being broken into, raped, and possibly murdered. Several months ago, Sarah and Cassidy walked right into my apartment and stood behind me as I was bent over drying my hair upside down. I saw them out of the corner of my eye and thought it was my brother and so I didn't respond at all. When I finally flipped my head upright, I saw it was them and was taken aback. They laughed at me, but at the same time they were like, "If we were some freak trying to rape you, you know you'd totally be getting raped right now." Since this day, there has been more evidence that the safety procedures in my apartment are not up to par.
First, I'm sort of weirded out when people knock on my door. We normally leave the apartment unlocked when we are at home and our friends just walk in. My parents came over a couple of times this week, and each time Nick and I looked at the door slightly puzzled when we heard knocking sounds. I think we're the only children in the world disconcerted by the fact that our parents knock on our doors.
Finally, I iron my clothes for work everyday at my sliding glass door in my living room overlooking the little open space next to my apartment. It's a lovely spot and it makes me happy. Just this last Thursday, I was looking out my window when I noticed the leaves that were hanging close to my balcony had writing on them. One said, "Jesi I'm watching U!" and another "Jesi I'm watching you." I was terribly amused and spent the day investigating who had done this. (Not that it took much effort to know who likes writing on things with Sharpies.) After confirming the offender, I wrote him that I was concerned that my powers of observation were weak. I mean, seriously, this tree was stalking me for a week outside the window I look out of everyday and I never noticed. What will I do when another tree starts stalking me more discreetly? I'll never notice! Then it'll walk right through my door while I'm drying my hair upside down and then I'll be screwed. ::sighs:: I definitely need to step up protective measures a notch.
posted by Jesi E. at 6/20/2005 05:46:00 AM
8 Comments:
That's why I keep an axe by my door--in case of attempted tree-rape.
I would never expect to be stalked by a tree, celery perhaps, but never a tree.
Zach- an axe is way too slow. I keep a chain saw handy.
And who will be the one to comment and the strange choice of words in the title of the post and at the end of the post.
Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?
Frankly you scare me. I mean in all honesty your a helluva bitch. I don't think you will have too much of a problem with rape, theft and the like. Perhaps vandalism...but not rape. You might avoid the trees though...avoid them entirely. You should probably wear a tin-foil cap in order to protect you from their seductive powers, and make an alliance with the rocks in order to keep the evil spruces at bay. Heh..eh..heheh. Heh. Heh. E heh. Ehh..hrmm.
What scares me is the fact that you give out so much information on this site as to practically invite stalkers...
I've been here 5 minutes and I know your name, address, and telephone number using nothing but the information you've provided. I won't post it becasue I am someone who, whether you know it or not, cares about you..
So, don't worry about John Galt; the question is: who am I?
Neither my phone nor my address is posted here. In fact, I don't even think my last name is on here anywhere. Where do you find this?
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Well, I leave my phone available through the internet white pages, because I do not believe it should be impossible to get a hold of someone. I have used the internet to look up people's information without their express permission. I know other people have done this with me and I am relieved that they found a way to contact me. My phone and address are not, however, posted on this site. Now you see my last name is no longer posted. Quite frankly, I'm not going to spend my life concerning myself with whether or not the things I type expose my identity. There are freaky people in the world at large, not just on the internet. I should imagine that it would be more likely to have someone stalk me from work or school than from the internet. It's a lot easier that way.
I have to agree with your points, but just to make my point clear, a stalker would not have drawn your attention to the facts you were unintentionally disclosing, he or she would have just appeared at your door. All I'm saying is, be careful.
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